You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
