He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
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I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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