I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
