i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dont even know how to be here
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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