go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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