i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We're too hungover to prance.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
