You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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