You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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