I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
ugly people sure do ruin things
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
two words...techno handjob
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize