eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
