That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
