sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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