and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
