id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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