How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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