exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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