my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
