Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All I want is dick and wine.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize