if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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