Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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