We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
