Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
