I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
