so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
