I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They took my balls.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
