im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
