I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
