you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
