i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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