hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
