I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize