Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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