i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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