In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
