Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize