I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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