Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
