I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize