It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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