I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
