at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
