I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
