Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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