so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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