his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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