she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
