It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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