I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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