chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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