O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
