y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
