So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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