so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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