Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
