May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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