Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize