i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
