Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I love you.
Bad choice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
