Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
