tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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