it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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