very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize