he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize