woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
