you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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