dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
