There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They took my balls.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
